When we get married we never in your wildest dreams think that it will end in divorce. That when we enter into matrimony, we will live happily ever after. Divorce does happen. It happens more often than we think. Statistically 38% of all marriages end in divorce.
Divorces has been around for many years. They may not have been common as they are today but they still existed. One of the first known divorce in history was of the days of King Henry VIII. Henry was a Roman Catholic who wanted to divorce his first wife, Catherine of Aragon, because she could not produce a male heir. Pope Clement VII of the Roman Catholic Church refused to annul Henry’s marriage to Catherine of Aragon. A frustrated Henry broke from Rome in 1533 and declared himself the head of a new church, the Church of England. Henry VIII was granted a divorce by the Archbishop of Canterbury, and church courts retained the power to dissolve marriages.
Divorces have come a long way since the days of King Henry VIII. In 1857 Matrimonial Causes Act was formed to allowed ordinary people to divorce. Before then, divorce was largely open only to men, they were very expensive, and only open to the rich.
In 1925 during the women’s rights movement, divorce laws have changed from women effectively being a chattel of their husband to being an autonomous part of a marital partnership. Women were enjoying their new-found freedoms which included a change to the Federal divorce laws. Women were now allowed to obtain a divorce on the same grounds as men. Providing them with more freedom to leave an unhappy marriage.
The 70’s was the rise of the sexual revolution, spouses had unrealistic expectations of their marital relationships and found it easier to find extramarital partners. It was also the rise of the divorce revolution which opened the floodgates to no-fault divorces. Wives felt freer to leave marriages that were abusive or unsatisfying.
The 90’s brought on a whole new trend “the grey divorce”. Couples 50 and over who had shared a long married life were now parting ways and confronted with empty nests and retirement. They were growing apart and measuring how they will spend their free time together and do not want to enter the last chapter of their life in an unhappy union.
Since the 90’s, divorce rates has fallen for those in their 20’s and 30’s but the rate of late life divorces are on the rise. For those age 50 and above it has doubled and it has tripled for those age 65 or older.
We now live in a time where divorce is both common and socially acceptable. Divorce can happen to anyone at any age. Divorce doesn’t come in a one size fits all box, every divorce is unique and comes with its own challenges. When we divorce later in life we have more life experience, we are more financially ahead and the kids have all grown and moved on with their own lives. With age, experience, and wisdom, we ask the age old question, “Do we divorce better with age?”
Young couples in their 20’s, in short-term marriages, with no jointly owned assets and no children tend to prolong the divorce process. The couple’s feelings are mainly hurt and they bicker over the every piece of personal property that they own jointly seeking that closure so they can move on.
Mid-life couples in their 30’s and 40’s, the divorce process becomes more complicated with child support, spousal support and possible debt that gets divided between you and your soon-to-be-ex. There are assets involved, a house, a mortgage, and kids who are young or in school. These families main focus in the divorce are the kids and their shared parenting roles. There are many questions to be answered, who should live where, is the house going to be sold, who gets the kids and when, and what each can earn, afford and provide.
Often times, older couples who have shared a long married life together and are now considering divorce, they may have been contemplating divorce for many years. Perhaps waiting till there kids have grown and moved out of the house. Divorcing later in life is not necessarily be easier but it is different. You are still dragged through the divorce process and having to divide everything you and your spouse have worked so hard for. You are in a better place financially, your children are grown, and your life experiences will help you handle the divorce easier. In your later years you don’t have to apologize for your decision to divorce, your family will be more understanding and your life-long friends will be your support every step of the way. Older couples will more likely face the divorce process with dignity and focus more on making good choices for the future, rather than prolonging the process and battling it out. They wish to be independent of each other and live out their golden years in peace.
